It makes me so happy when I read through parenting books or articles and come across bits about how important it is to praise a child. I try to always give my daughter praise for every little thing she gets right. It has proven to be a very effective way to manage her behavior. As all these articles and books have promised, she seeks it out now. When she does something I've told her to do, she even claps for herself, sometimes before I do. It has made me so proud to see her pick her toys up and look at me expectantly, or stop cold when I tell her "no" and wait for her "good girl". What satisfies my parenting ego all the more though, is to see her begin to praise other people for their good behavior. A few days ago, I was babysitting a two year old. He is in that stage where he enjoys doing things for himself. Olivia saw him put a toy in the toy box when he was finished with it, and she started clapping!
I think it is very easy to focus on the things we don't want our kids to do, and how to stop them, or on the big stepping stones, like potty training. But I agree wholeheartedly that it is equally, and possibly more important, to teach kids that their everyday successes don't go unnoticed
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
.... or small problems....
I just want to say before I start this that I love all my friends, no matter what, and I will always have time for you. And, this is not directed at anyone particularly, just something I have observed over the years.
Life is hard. There's no question. Somehow, our own difficulties always seem much worse than someone else's. To make matters worse, someone else usually trivializes our problems (often unintentionally). The only way, I feel, that we can prevent these hurts piling on hurts is to stop comparing our scars and wounds. No one has the exact same life as any other person, but more importantly, no one experiences any one situation the same way. Whether someone is upset about a death of someone close to them or a promotion they should have gotten that went to someone else, if it's important to them, I try to respect that feeling. I would hate to think that when I confided in a friend that I was struggling with something that they might think I'm being overly sensitive, that I need to "suck it up", or that their problems are worse and more important than my own. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just wish everyone could be respectful and sensitive to the people around them. I don't buy into the whole walk a mile in someone's shoes bit, because I think it takes much more than a mile to understand another point of view, if you even ever can. I prefer to accept people without judgement, and be there for them in a way that they can accept and understand. Otherwise, instead of helping people, you end up gratifying your ego. It degrades to a competition of complaints, a competition in which there are no winners.
Life is hard. There's no question. Somehow, our own difficulties always seem much worse than someone else's. To make matters worse, someone else usually trivializes our problems (often unintentionally). The only way, I feel, that we can prevent these hurts piling on hurts is to stop comparing our scars and wounds. No one has the exact same life as any other person, but more importantly, no one experiences any one situation the same way. Whether someone is upset about a death of someone close to them or a promotion they should have gotten that went to someone else, if it's important to them, I try to respect that feeling. I would hate to think that when I confided in a friend that I was struggling with something that they might think I'm being overly sensitive, that I need to "suck it up", or that their problems are worse and more important than my own. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just wish everyone could be respectful and sensitive to the people around them. I don't buy into the whole walk a mile in someone's shoes bit, because I think it takes much more than a mile to understand another point of view, if you even ever can. I prefer to accept people without judgement, and be there for them in a way that they can accept and understand. Otherwise, instead of helping people, you end up gratifying your ego. It degrades to a competition of complaints, a competition in which there are no winners.
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